i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
