Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There r osticjed everywhere
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
