Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
