Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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