worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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