So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
