Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize