Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
