So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
