how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
