dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So apparently I’m into choking now
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
