Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
