return my video game
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
