I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
