i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
