So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
