Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
