I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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