Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It's Friday. Sex?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
