A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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