Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
