Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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