Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
