i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
