Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
sex in a hospital.. check
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
