I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
