There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
