You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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