Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
