No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
