i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize