Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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