You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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