I feel like abortions should bother me more
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
