How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize