i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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