i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
