you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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