Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
