i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
