I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
