Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
