We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
