sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize