just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
