god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
