How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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