I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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