i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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