We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
