You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Operation Purity has been aborted
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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