Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
