Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
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