Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
