hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
