it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He shit in the fireplace
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize