im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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