Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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