i jhust puked up my retainher.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
