hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I want to walk on stilts...naked
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
