i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
