I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
