i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
