hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize