he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
