He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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