Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
