I can't breathe out the right side of my face
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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