Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
