My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize