Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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