Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
